Insanly Warped
by pickles is god
Summary: what happens when four girls get sucked into different anime shows just because a god was bored? utter chaos. rated T because of language OCs -Kuro, Kat, Hikari, and Chibi-
1. why is there a demon in science class?

_**A/N; Disclaimer! i dont own any of the mentioned anime or manga. If i did sasuke would have died a slow and painful death inuyasha would wear a dress and light would be in jail. i only own kuro, kat, hikari, chibi, and alex.**_

"Inuyasha!"

"Naruto!"

Rachelle and Kat yelled out there choice of anime as they wrestled on the ground. Every month the five girls spend the night at one of their houses and watch anime all night. Every time they have this 'friendly' gathering all six end up in a world war three over which anime to watch. Hikari, Angela, and Alex watched as Kat and Rachelle rolled on the floor, wrestling to figure out whose anime it would be. All girls just sat there not bothering to try to break them up. Finally Rahelle stood up, yelling insults in Japanese, and sat on the unsuspecting Kat.  
"Katsu!"(1) The victorious girl screamed as she placed the video in to the DVD player.

"Dang it..." Kat sat down, anime tears flowing down her eyes. After three hours of Inuyasha they switched to Naruto then death note. By midnight they had watched 4 different anime and only Rachelle was awake. She stared wide-eyed at the screen as she watched light and L play tennis.

' Jashin, God, Buddha, Fruddha (2), any other sort of being in the sky please let me go into an anime... please grant this wish. You neglected me for so long... just make this one thing happen.' She whished, but she didn't notice the shooting star falling to the horizon in the background.  
!NEXT DAY, SCHOOL!

In third period Rachelle, Kat, and Angela sat in science, listening to their teacher go on about water vapor. Rachelle was day dreaming about Sesshomaru when a note hit her head. Rubbing the spot it hit she reached down and opened it ' Your my friend aren't you Rach? , Brook' Glaring at the paper she wrote down ' Not on your life' and threw it back at the prissy girl hard. She had just gotten back to her dream when she felt another tap. ' To bad just listen I need you to do this report for me' this time she crumpled up the paper and slammed it into Brook's head. Rachelle could tell she was pissed when she stood up.

"What the hell is your problem!" She screamed. Rachelle just sat there like she had no clue what was happening. Ms. Kasperson, the teacher wiped around.

"Brook! Go to the office!" She yelled at brook. The prissy girl just stood there shocked she got yelled at instead of Rachelle.

"But I didn't do anything! It was Rachelle! She threw a paper wad at me! send her to the office not me!" She said in a tone that she thought sounded innocent. To Rachelle it sounded like the devil. 'Man I wish Sesshomaru was here...' she thought. Right after she thought that a bright light engulfed the room. When the light dimmed there standing in the middle of the room was the demon lord himself.

" Oh...my...Jashin..." Rachelle sat there, staring wide eyed at the silver haired demon in front of her.

"Who the hell are you?" Brooke(the bitch) asked, sneering at the Lord. "Better yet WHAT are you? 'Cause you look like a girl." Rachelle's eyes widened. 'She did not just insult Lord Sesshomaru!' She thought angrily noticing her lords eyes turning red. 'And she mad him crack! she is soooo dead!'

"Did you just insult this Sesshomaru, you pathetic human?" He asked in his monotone.

"Yes I did, and if I'm a pathetic human then what are you? A pathetic ant? And what the hell is with the 'this Sesshomaru' thing? Are you retarded?" Rachellle's eyes widened even more at that. She ran forward and punched Brooke straight in the face, knocking her to the ground. She glared at the prissy bitch and forced her voice to stay calm.

" Don't you DARE insult Lord Sesshomaru-sama! He is the strongest demon in all of feudal Japan and could easily rip your head off your shoulders! Also he is very much male! He is also the hottest person in Japan! You stupid Whore! If he wanted to you would be cut ribbons from his tokijin! But your not even worth the energy to make poison claw or whip of light!" She ranted until Kat slapped her hand over Rachelle's mouth. Sesshomaru was shocked she knew so much about him, but his face didn't show it. He was still ticked that the girl on the floor had insulted his gender and strength. 'she will suffer a slow painful death.' He thought as he walked up to the girl. He raised his clawed hand and swiftly cut her throat open letting her bleed in pain. The entire classroom was now evacuating as the fire alarm was pulled. Kat, and Angela where trying to move Rachelle from the room but she wouldn't budge. she had just witnessed what she had dreamed of happening! (except without giant panda's) Oblivious to what was happening she just stared with hearts in her eyes at the lord in front of her. Finally Kat push with all her strength and got Rahelle to fall like a plank of wood over into a wheel barrow that just happened to be in the class room. Angela grabbed the wheelbarrow and hauled it out of the room and out into the field. Once there Rachelle finally snapped out of her trance and got up. Hikari and Alex had already ran over to them.

"What the HELL is going on!" Hikari screamed at them.

"Lord Sesshomaru just appeared in our classroom. Brooke insulted his gender. Then he killed her and everyone fled." Kat explained quickly. Hikari blinked. then fell to her knees "THANK YOU LORD! I thought she would never die!" Rachelle soon joined her as they both thanked every different god they could think of. They had just started listing the Greek gods when people started screaming and running away from the field. Rachelle looked up to see a GIANT SWIRLING RAINBOW INFRONT OF HER! Ok it was a very colorful portal with a sign flashing the words 'ANIME WORLD' over it. She immediately stood up and yelled "PROTAL! AWESOME, LETS GO!" And with that said, or yelled in this case, she took off running straight toward the vortex.

"Rachelle!" Kat and Hikari yelled running after her. Angela shrugged her shoulders, grabbed Alex's hand and ran after them, dragging a protesting girl behind. Rachelle dove head first in to the portal, Hikari fell in and Kat jumped in after them, Angela ran straight in while Alex was dragged in by force. After they all disappeared inside the spinning colors the vortex quickly disinagrated and all the kids left on the field stared with shocked faces, completely forgetting there was a demon lord still on the school property. (or so they thought XP)

1; Japanese word for victory

2; I have a clay frog in the Buddha position so I named him Sid the Fruddha


	2. how the hell is it going, Jashinsama?

_**A/N; Disclaimer! i dont own any of the mentioned anime or manga. If i did sasuke would have died a slow and painful death inuyasha would wear a dress and light would be in jail. i only own kuro, kat, hikari, chibi, and alex.**_

CHAPTER 2

'Ugh. what happened?' Rachelle thought. all she could see around her was black.

"so you are f***ing awake now? good. now lets get this damn thing over with." a male voice said from behind her. Rachelle whipped around to see a giant red glowing orb floating in the blackness.

"um who are you? where am i? what happened?" she asked quickly

" firstly, SLOW. DOWN! if you talk to quickly i won't f***ing answer, secondly I am Jashin. thirdly you are currently stuck in your mind if you didn't notice the corpse over there in the corner. fourthly you ran head first into a portal that trans ported you to the Naruto world,. i am here to tell you what to do." Jashin explained. Rachelle stood there, shocked by the fact she was talking to her god. (Yes she is a Jashinist)

"So Jashin-sama what the hell am i supposed to do?" she asked

"well you are supposed to find your friends then enter the chunnin exams in Konoha." he said boardly "but to do that you need to get out of your head. literally. you're already insane."

"oh, go eat a bagel!" she said as the darkness was replaced with the blue of the sky.

"the hell?" she asked not noticing the two stares she was getting as she sat up. Rachelle looked down, expecting to she her jeans and teal jacket but instead saw black cargo pants, and a black tank top that showed off her toned stomach. her slightly tanned skin had been replaced by pale soft flesh. she reached up to her hair, half hoping to find her short curly brown hair. in its place was shiny straight black hair that was cut of at her upper back, a few inches below her shoulders. Rachelle also noticed she was wearing a dog tag with the Jashin symbol on it and a red belt. hooked to the belt was a black and white katana with the yin-yang symbol on it. at this point she was shocked beyond belief...until she heard a male voice behind her.

"Hey! who the hell are you?" Rahelle recognized the voice immediately, slightly hoping it wasn't who she thought it was.

she slowly turned around to see the white hair Akatsuki member, Hidan, and his money loving partner, Kakuzu. instead of being shocked(again) she yelled.

"oh COME ON! you couldn't have dropped me with some one better? Damnit Jashin-sama!" she screamed at the sky pounding her fists on her head. Hidan backed up a step, wide eyed, while Kakuzu just rolled his eyes.

"hey! girl! who are you and do you have a bounty on your head?" '_typical_' Rachelle thought after he said that. '_ugh well i can't tell them my real name so umm ah! i got it!_' she looked up at them.

"my name is kuro. no i don't have a bounty on my head and why the hell am i with you.?" 'Kuro' questioned. Hidan surprisingly answered her.

"you fell out of the damn sky and landed on Kakuzu-baka. when you fell you screamed something about a f***ing bagel i think." he seemed to be trying to figure out what the hell a bagel is. Kuro laughed.

"oh ya! then i passed out." Kuro stood up and stretched" well i think i be going on my way then. Ja ne!" she said as she began to walk away. she only got about ten feet before Hidan grabbed the back of her shirt and Kakuzu appeared in front of her

" I'm afraid your not going any where. at least not until we get some information." Kuro heard Hidan chuckle evilly behind her.

"OK. ask away!" She said sitting down where she was just standing with a sigh.

"what is your name?" didn't she already answer this?

"Kuro"

"age?" prying much

"fourteen"

"are you a ninja?" no she just likes to carry a sword!

"yes"

"what is your religion?" OK that question was from Hidan. weird he isn't complaining.

"Jashinist"

"what village are you from?" Kakuzu continued sending a glare at his partner.

"none" the questions continued until he knew most of her life except for a few lies like how she was physic instead of how they where an anime and that she fell from a jutsu gone wrong and not a portal.

" hmmm... you could be useful to us. we will take you to leader-sama." Since when does the Akatsuki take hostages!

"um... do i have a say in this?" Kuro was immediately meet with a choirs of 'no'. She sighed, knowing there was no way she was getting away from them. so might as well make the most of it. and that meant she was going to annoy the crap out of them!

*** With Kat****

When Kat woke up she noticed she was in a forest. sitting up, she also saw she didn't look like herself, and, being Kat, she freaked. She let out an ear-piercing scream that could probably be heard by all four of her friends. her grey jacket had been replaced by a white tee-shirt with black lining. her jeans were now black silky pants with white lines going up the sides. hoping, no, praying that at least one thing was the same about her, she felt her hair. the once long dark brown was now shoulder length and lighter in color. the only thing that was the same about her appearance was her tan skin and height. Kat stood up, noticing that she was still 5ft tall.

"what the heck happened?" she thought out loud. She held her head as she tried to remember. "oh yeah... Rachelle!" she screamed again, but this time angrily. Kat was about to storm off when she heard rustling in the bush behind her.

"Hey! look Zetsu-san! there is a girl over here! Tobi is a good boy for finding her!" instantly she Knew who the voice was. not only because he said his name but also because he was her favorite Naruto character. Rocketing to the bush Kat jumped and glomped the unexpecting masked man.

"OH MY GOD! it's TOBI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" she screeched at him, completely in fan-girl-attack mode. after about five minutes she let go and stood up, remembering he was not only a good boy but also a S-ranked criminal. Kat instinctively reached into her right back pocket and pulled out a doughnut.

"YES! I got the E.P.O.D.!(endless pocket of doom)" she cheered as she happily munched on the sugary goodness of the doughnut. completely forgetting about the two men in front of her.

"um... Why did strange lady glomp Tobi?" Tobi asked Kat.

"Yes why did you jump on Tobi **and who are you**?" both sides of Zetsu asked.

"eh? oh I'm Kat and I glomped Tobi because Tobi is a good boy! duh!" She stated matter-of-factly.

***With Hikari***

"oh ... my...crap ..." she said as she stared at the man in front of her. His long tongue licked his lips that held a evil smirk.

" hello who might you be? And what are you doing in my hideout!" he yelled out at her.

"the question is WHO SIR ARE YOU! Because quiet frankly I have no idea how to answer your questions." she said pointing a finger at him.

"kukuku well, my dear, I am Orochimaru." Hikari's eye twitched.

" my dear? ... My DEAR! MY DEAR! WHO ARE YOU CALLING 'MY DEAR'?" she yelled at him as she stood up and glared. Orochimaru backed away. Hikari was giving off an aura so frightening even he was scared for his life.

***With Angela***

Angela stared wide-eyed at the white fish like eyes in front of her. She blinked twice, the tilted her head to the side.

"why do you look like a fish?" she asked innocently. This time the fish man blinked. Then an vein appeared on his head.

"well why are you so short?" he retorted.

"I'm not short. I'm Chibi." she stated with a smile on her face. The black haired man that had stood silently behind the fis- man was staring at her.

"who are you?" he asked glaring at her, but it had no affect. Again Angela tilted her head cutely. Even though she was 14 she still looked like a child sometimes.

"didn't I just tell you? I'm Chibi! ^^" she yelled happily. Standing up, she ran up closer to the blue skinned man and stood on her tip toes to be closer to his height.

"and you know what else? I HATE BEING CALLED SHORT!" she screamed in to his ear.

****Back to kuro/ Rachelle****

"Sooooooooooooo . Where we going?" she asked

"We are going to meet with Zetsu and Tobi and we are leaving you with them." Kakuzu answered back. He had just had to listen to Kuro go on and on about the world she made up in her mind where a llama is king. Hidan seemed to like her because he was fallowing behind her staring at her butt.

" Hidan ... why are you staring at my ass?" she asked slowly.

"cause it's hot." she stared blankly at him for a while.

"Dude ... I'M 14! YOUR 19! THAT IS A FIVE YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE!" she screamed at him as she drew her sword and chopped off his head.

"OWWW mmmm Jashin that feels good!" he murmured as Kuro repeatedly stabbed him trough the chest. How he could still feel it even though he had no head she didn't know but it made her happier to get out her anger. After she had stabbed Hidan over 50 times she turned around and ran after Kakuzu who hadn't stopped walking.

"So how much longer until we meet them?" she asked as she caught up to him.

" We should be there soon." Kakuzu replied blankly. Kuro sighed, why did it take so long? They had been walking for 3 hours! then she heard something.

" NOOO TOBI DOESN'T WANT ZETSU-SAN TO EAT KAT-CHAN!" 'yes! Finally I can live these stupid zombies behind and go with a good boy.!' she thought happily. When the other akatsuki members came in to view she saw a girl with light brown skin and hair getting a piggy-back ride from tobi. When the girl saw kuro she hopped off of tobi and ran up to her and stuck out her finger. Kuro did the same. Then they tapped their fingers together then tapped fists pretended to slap and stab each other then they both held up their right hand and yelled "SYMBOLIC!"

" Secret code!" the girl yelled out pointing at kuro.

"what is the square root of flexnard!" she yelled back

"captain crunch! Kuro!" the tan girl exclaimed.

"Kat!" Kuro yelled back they then proceeded to punch each other in the face and fall on their backs.

"OW!" they both said. Kuro was the first up then Kat.

"So you got dropped with Tobi? Lucky. I landed with the zombie brothers." Kuro pointed back at the to (practically) immortal men that stood 20 feet away talking to zetsu and tobi.

"HEY! Kat-chan! Guess what! Kuro-chan gets to come with us to meet Sasori-san and Deidara-sempai!" tobi exclaimed happily as he walked-err . Skipped over to the girls.

"Then you both get to go see Orochimaru ,**then you go with Itachi-san and Kisame-san to Konoha to check out the chunnin exams**." Zetsu added. Both girls looked at each other, blinked, then .screamed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" they yelled as they ran around Zetsu.

"**If you don't stop running I'll eat you**." he said, annoyed. Kat immediately stopped but Kuro continued to run and scream. Hidan walked over and grabbed her butt. That made her stop running in mid-step, turn around, and kick hidan in the balls. She 'hum'fed' when he fell to the ground cursing and moaning.

"NOW THEN PEOPLES! LET US SING! We're off to see the pedo! The horrible pedo of oz!" she yelled out as she, Kat and Tobi linked arms and started to skip off down the magical path that appeared in front of them.

********blah*********

**A/N: Ok so just so you understand this Rachelle is now Kuro Kat stayed Kat Hikari Stayed Hikari and Angela Became Chibi. Also Alex never made it through the portal she got pissed that i left her too.  
**


	3. falling off a bird is fun!

_**A/N; Disclaimer! i dont own any of the mentioned anime or manga. If i did sasuke would have died a slow and painful death inuyasha would wear a dress and light would be in jail. i only own kuro, kat, hikari, chibi, and alex.**_

CHAPTER 3

"We're off to see the pedo! The horrible pedo of oz! because because because of all the child molesting he does!" kuro and kat sang as they skipped down the path in front of Zetsu and Tobi.

"Why do you call Orochimaru a pedophile?" Zetsu asked. They teens stopped skipping.

"Because he wants Sasuke's body." Kuro explained flatly. Tobi stopped walking and tilted his head.

"How does kuro-chan know what Orochimaru-san is planning?" he asked curiously. Kuro looked at him with a spark in her eye.

"Because... I KNOW EVERYTHING!MWAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed evilly. Tobi looked at Zetsu.

"Prove it." he said. Kuro smirked.

"Now now don't sound so excited...Madara." kuro's smirk grew when she saw tobi tense up. Then she was pushed against a tree.

"how do you know about that?" he asked. This time Kat smirked.

"isn't it obvious?... Kuro is physic!" she whispered loudly so we could all hear. Kuro and Kat giggled at her stupidity. Madara let go of Kuro when she was laughing so hard that she couldn't breathe. He and zetsu backed away when her laughter became evil, then stopped. Kat looked up.

"You might want to go back to being tobi now. Deidara is here." she said looking at the sky. Kuro looked up to a grin on her face. Deidara was her third favorite anime characters!

"So, are these the girls we are taking with us, un? The black haired one looks like a guy." kuro's face fell. She hadn't even glomped him and he already insulted her.

"yeah? Well you look like a girl!" she said back. Before deidara could reply tobi ran over to him.

"SEMPAI! That's mean! Kuro-chan can predict the future so she can predict your death! Don't be mean!" Tobi yelled as he ran circles around his so-called sempai. Sasori walked up behind them.

"Tobi if you don't take things seriously you will never become an akatsuki member." he scold. Kuro stood up and ran at the puppet man.

"DANNA!" she screamed as she glomped him. kat sighed as the to fell two the ground. She walked over and tried to pry her friend off of the criminal.

"come on Kuro. Leave the poor murderer alone! What if he tried to turn you into a puppet?" she asked trying to kuro to let go.

"Then I would be the bestest puppet ever! But I will get off since we need to start moving because Danna hates wasting time." she said standing up with a stupid grin on her face. Tobi ran over and glomped kat.

"Tobi will miss you kat-chan!" he yelled with anime tears falling from the eye hole in his mask.

"Kat will miss tobi-chan too!" Kat hugged him back, also with anime tears. "Awww! GROUP GLOMP!" kuro shouted as she jumped on tobi's back. 10 MINUTES LATER

Kuro and kat sat on the back of deidara's bird talking in sign language about what had happened to them so far. Deidara and Sasori argued about which type of art was better, not paying attention to them. Suddenly kuro stood up on the bird.

"I agree with Deidara! Art is a bang, un!" she yelled. Kat stood up also.  
"NO! Art lasts forever!" she yelled back.

"Bang, un!"

"forever!" they continued to yell at each other while deidara and sasori stared at them with sweat drops on their heads. Then kuro ran at kat and missed completely and fell off the edge of the clay bird.

"Hey! Wait for me!" kat yelled as she jumped after her friend. The two akatsuki members waited to hear the screames but instead heard silence.  
"how long have we been falling?" Kat asked boredly.

"About five minutes." Kuro answered. They were both still falling through the sky waiting for deidara to catch them.  
"How far up were we?" kat asked as she started to flip around. Kuro just layed on her side, arm proping up her head.  
*****meanwhile*****

"Are you going to catch them?" Sasori asked deidara, staring over the side of the bird.

"Oh... Tobi will catch them, un." he answered.

"TOBI'S NOT COMING!" they heard a distant voice answer them.

"... Was that?" Sasori started.

"Yep...we better go get them." Deidara sighed.

"It took ten minutes...just to catch us?" Kuro asked angirly, her bangs covering her eyes.

"Its your own fault for jumping,un." Deidara retorted. Kat raised her hand.

"technically, she fell, I jumped."

"whatever, lets just get on with this mission so we can give you to itachi." Sasori said.  
5 minutes later

"ring ring"

"hello?"

"ring ring"

"He-he-hello?"  
"ring ring"

"helllloooo?"

"ring ri-"

"WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP?" deidara yelled at the bored girls.

"Don't tell me to shut up, Im sitting on a pound of nitroglicerin." kuro said back.

"What the hell is nitroglicerin?" sasori asked, clearly confused.

"what people make bombs with." kat answered. Deidara blinked.

"I make bombs out of clay, un."

"either way i am sitting on a bomb." Kuro said flatly.

"... ring ring" kat said with a smirk.

"hello?"

"If you to do not shut up i will throw you off this bird." sasori growled. Kat stood up and pointed at the puppet man.

"I can do that myself!" she yelled as she jumped over the edge... again. Kuro stood up and looked over.

"Hey! wait for me this time!" she was about to jump also but sasori caught her foot while she was falling.

"Why would you jump?" sasori's voice was dark.

"because, danna, she got the last ring." kuro answered sadly "and you might want to catch her.

"Tobi will catch her,un." Deiara said looking forward.

"TOBI'S STILL NOT COMING!" they heard Kats's voice yell. Everyones eyes widened as their faces paled and they looked down.

2.5 minutes later Kat was once again sitting on the bird, anime tears flowing down her face.

"why wont Tobi catch me?" she sniffed. sasori's eye twitched.

"are you 2 afraid of anything?" he asked, raised her hand.

"I have canadiaphobia." she said, dead seriously.

"what does that mean?" sasori asked with anime vein growing on his head.

"It's when you are afraid of canadians ^^" she said happily. Sasori was tempted to punch her but the relised it was best to ignore her.

"any thing else?" he asked Kat who looked deep in thought.

"well...we both have pineaphobia." she said."Its when you are afraid of pineapples." sasori blinked, then reached behind him and pulled out... A PINEAPPLE!

"AHHHHHHHH! EVIL GOVERMENT!" the two girls screamed, pointing at the evil citrus fruit. then they grabbed each other's arms and...jumped off the bird -_-' again. sasori simply closed his eyes and tossed the fruit over the side of the bird. he breifly heard kuro yell something about 'the evil goverment chasing them' but blocked it out and looked at his partner, who had been forgotten.

"Can we just let them fall?" he asked hopefully. deidara shrugged.

"sure we are over the hideout now anyway, un." and so they slowly decended downward...

*******Blah******

**A/N: I give full crwedit for the ring rings to the creater of charlie the unicorn!  
**


	4. where are his hands?

_**A/N; Disclaimer! i dont own any of the mentioned anime or manga. If i did sasuke would have died a slow and painful death inuyasha would wear a dress and light would be in jail. i only own kuro, kat, hikari, chibi, and alex.**_

The two girls stared at the door in the ground in front of them, both clearly confused.

"isn't the point of a hideout so that people cant find it?" kuro asked. Kat nodded back.

"Then why is this one in the middle of a f***ing feild!" she yelled annoyed at how easy it would be to get in. kuro's face suddenly went emotionless." how much ya wanna bet that Hikari is in there?" she asked blankly. kat sighed.

"It wouldn't be fair, cause she has to be or else she would have found us when we were singing about the pedo." Kuro nodded agreeing, then she grabbed the handle and pulled open then door. the 2 girls walked in to a dimmly lit hallway that split into two at the end. both giels looked back and forth between the halls.

"Left or right?"

"right" kuro said as she started walking down." we meet back here in ten minutes if not then hope for the best." Kat didn't look to happy about having to go alone done into Orochimaru's lair but she knew it was quicker and the only way to get their friend back. kuro walked down the hall cautiously, her eyes shifting back and forth watching for any movement. where are all his minion people? she thought. just as she thought that she heard a loud bang comming from the room three doors down from where she was standing. she jogged down the hall and threw open the door, hoping to see kabuto getting punched in the face but instead she saw hikari stabbing orochimaru in the chest...for he 37th time.

"DIE, MOTHERF***ER, DIE!" hikari yelled as she stabbed orochimaru over and over. kuro sighed

"hikari... what are you doing?" she asked as she walked into the room. "I mean dont you know that you should use a blow torch?" with kat Kat walked through the hall looking into each room for her friend. she was about to open another door when she heard a crash. running back down the hall, she cme to the room that she heard the crash come from, but when she opened nthe door she saw what she didn't expect. in the room was Kuro and Hikari sitting in front of a bonfire roasting human hands and marshmellows. In the corner was the corpse of orochimaru.

"Hikari, kuro why is there a dead pedo in this room?" Hikari looked into the corner and blinked

"Oh! Hey, how did he get here?" she asked surprised.

"Hikariiii what did you do?" kat asked stretching the 'i' in hikari's name.

"Me, eh, I didn't do this." She said pretending to be innocent.

"Tell me what happened hikari."

"I have never seen this man before in my life."

"why did you kill this person Hikari?"

"I do not kill people. that...that is my least favorite thing to do."

"tell me Hikari exally whay happened before i came in."

"Ok well i was in this room, shrpening a knife, when this guy walked in, and i went up to him, and i well i stabbed him 37 times in the chest." Kat stared at Hikari before dropping her head down.

"HIKARIIII that kills people!" Hikari's eyes widened.

"OH! oh wow i did not know that."

"How could you not know that?"

"Yeah im in the wrong ear. i suck." Kat looked back at the corpse.

"where are his hands? his hand, Kuro his hands. why are they missing?" kuro looked up at her before looking back at the hand on a stick that was in the fire.

"Oh well i was planning to cook them up and eat them.

"...KUROOOO."

"well when you crave hands."

"why would you do that?"

"my stomach was making the rumblys...that only hands could fill. but since he is a pedo i had to burn off the grems and little boy dieases." she said staring at the fire. Kat slapped her forehead. what did i do to deserve them? she thought

"Where did that fire come from?" she asked finally realizing that there was a fire. Kuro smiled.

"OH aperiantly i can control fire cause i suddenly made it appear. cool, huh?" she asked. "look i even got a tatto on my hand! its the kanji for fire, Hikari has blood so im guessing that is what she controls. let me see you hand." she said staning up and grbbing kat's right hand."you have earth congradulations."  
Hikari looked around before relizing they where still in the lair.  
"Hey shouldn't we get the hell out of here?" she asked, now annoyed that she had to sit here while her friends talked. Kuro looked at her with a fire in her eye.

"RIGHT! we still need to find chibi! then we enter the chunnin exams and then get the hell out of here." kuro said as she ran out of the hide out followed by her friends. once outside they say deidara and sasori land on the ground. Before deidara could even get off the bird he was suddenly tackled to the ground by Hikari's famous mega glomp. His eye's where as wide as he stared at the girl that had just attached himself to his waist. Kuro and kat crracked up laughing while sasori just smirked. After about five minutes, 4 wooden fingers and kuro's roasted hand-kabob later did she finally let go of the blonde bomber.

"Yosh! now it is time to go meet the weasel!" kuro yelled, the fire once again in her eyes. kat sighed while hikari ignored her, sasori was crying over his fingers and deidara was still in shock from the mega glomp. Then they all jumped onto the clay bird and flew off to where ever they were going to meet itachi and kisame.

***********Blah***********

**A/N: i give most credit for the whole where are his hands thing and the dead body to the makers of Llama's with hats! the other part of the credit goes to me for changing the words to match the scene but most goes to them. .  
**


	5. dont call her short

_**A/N; Disclaimer! i dont own any of the mentioned anime or manga. If i did sasuke would have died a slow and painful death inuyasha would wear a dress and light would be in jail. i only own kuro, kat, hikari, chibi, and alex.**_

"ring ring"

"Hello?"

"ring ring"

"Hello?"

"ring rin-"

"REALLY SHUT UP!" Hikari yelled finally having enough of kuro and kats insanity. The two tried to keep their laughter in while Hikari's face turned red. Deidara and sasori found out that they had ear plugs in their cloaks and were ignoring them. the five had been flying for the past 20 minutes and kuro and kat had already fallen off the bird twice.

"Well what do you expect us to do? we are bored!" kuro whined.

"How should i know what you should do?...Kat why dont you just pull something out of the E.P.O.D. to entertain us?" Hikari asked as she looked at kat. the girl in question simply shrugged. They all shut up when they felt the bird going down and kuro looked at deidara.

" are we there yet? cause my ass hurts." she asked as she rubbed her butt. Deidara's eye twitched as he said

"yes we are there." only Sasori notice him mutter 'finally' under his breath, because the girls were cheering and kat was saying potato over and ovewr again. " AND SIT DOWN! DO YOU WANT TO FALL?" he was answered when all three jumped over the edge for the third time since they got hikari and the 6th time that day.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"POTATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

********With chibi***********

she was skipping along behind kisame who kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure she hadn't pulled out a knife or something. itachi was calmly walking along the path until he was squashed to the ground underneith a girl with shoulder length black hair and purple eyes. kisame started to laugh his ass off while chibi was trying to breath she was laughing so hard. the girl just sat on the uchiha for a while before she started screaming.

"OMJ! they stole my freacking kidney! ... oh wait... no they didnt. im safe for now. " she sighed as she stood up. she looked under her and saw Itachi on the ground and once again screamed.

"OMJ! I SQUASHED A WEASEL! I'M SORRY WEASEL!" she quickly fell to her knees, grabbed itachi by his ponytail and hugged him to death. Bye now two more girls had fallen down and landed in a bush, Kisame was still laughung his ass off and chibi had died from lack off oxygen.

"Let...go...now..." Itachi growled out, making the girl let go, and quickly stand up.

"Yes sir, weasel man, sir!" she saluted him as he stood up. he turned and faced kisame making him quickly shut up and chibi magicly come back to life. he turned back to the girl.

"Who are you?" he asked using one of the famous uchiha glares on her that she seemed oblivious to.

"kuro's name is Kuro, weasel man." if itachi had been any one with emotions then his eye would have twitched at the name she called him.

"why are you calling me weasel man?" he asked perfectly covering his anger.

"Because your name is Itachi which means weasel and i kinda hope you are a man. cause if not then there going to be alot of disapponted and angery fan-girls." she said as she walked over to chibi.

"secret password?" she asked

"O.K" chibi replied as she did the finger gun thing, the girl also did the gun thing.

"K.O. hows it going chibi-chan?" she said as she patted the shorter girl on the head.

"Pretty good how about you Kuro-chan?" she asked as she pushed the hand off her head.

"Decent. so far i have talked to jashin, found Kat, freaked out Tobi and Zetsu, cut off hidan's head, Annoyed Deidara and Sasori, found Hikari, and fallen off a clay bird 6 times." she said happily (a little to happily i might add).

"why are they ignoring us?" kisame asked itachi when he walked over to him.

"Because you are a fish and you are a weasel." said Kat as she poped out of a bush.

"What does that have to do with it?" Kisame asked annoyed.

"Wow thats a new record, it took deidara 5 minutes to be annoyed by us for you it was anound 2." Hikari said, also poping out of the bush.

"Will you two shut up!" KIsame yelled at chibi and Kuro who were just saying blah back and forth to each other. He instently regretted it and hid behind Itachi for protection when chibi glared at him.

"What did he do?" kuro asked.

"He called me short." chibi answered.

"ohhh" kuro said suddenly feeling sympathy for the over grown talking fish. kisame sniffed.

"Whats wrong with calling her short?" he asked, tears falling down his face. Kat put a hand on his shoulder ( A/N: which she could only reach cause he was hiding behind itachi)

" she hates being called short the last person who called her short got his hanbd bitten off. so don't feel bad.^^" Kat said trying to cheer him up. at that point Hikari noticed the bird flying off in the distance.

"HEY! THEY LEFT US WITH OUT SAYING GOOD BYE!" she yelled shking her fist at the speck in the sky that they were once riding. that is when kuro and chibi skipped over to them.

"So when are we leaving Star-brat?" kuro asked as she looked pointedly at kisame. he looked behind him before looking back at kuro.

"Who are you talking to?" he asked her.

"What, you don't even know your own name? that is really pathetic." she said lazily, as she put her hands behind her head.

"How is my name star-brat?" kisame asked, annoyed and confused.

"because your name is kisame hoshigaki. kisame means demon shark and if you split hoshi gaki into hoshi and gaki then you get satr and brat so your name is demon shark star-brat. get it now?" kuro explained. the one in question desided it was better to just answer her question and ignore everything she said after that, but itachi beat him to it.

"Right now and how do you know so much about us?" he questioned looking at kuro from the corner of his eye. Kat sighed.

"like i told ma- ...i mean Tobi . . . Kuro is pyshic. she is a pyscho pyshic! ^^" she said and giggled, Hikari laughed and chibi fell to the floor holding her stomach from laughing. kuro on the other hand saw no humor with kats joke. (A/N: manly because it was true.) Itachi turned to look at her as the other girls laughed.

"How much do you know?" he asked as she looked at the ground.

"Enough about the past present...and future." she refused to meet his gaze, so he knew she knew what he ment by the question. hey, she is smarter then she seemed. (A/N: she could probably match near from death note in the intellegence level.) Kat then walked up and slung her arm over kuro's shoulder as she whipped a tear from her eye.

"So what are we waiting for lets get going!" she said noticing her friends depression." and no! you do not get to go all sasuke on us!" she yelled as she stated to shake kuro. when she stopped the shaking, kuro had her head hung with a shadow over her eyes. Kat's eyes widened.

"NO! dont you dare start to cultivate mushrooms you are not tamaki! NOOOOOOO!" she shut up when she relized that Kuro had started to laugh evilly.

"YOU ARENT LIGHT EITHER!" kat yelled as she slapped the girl on the head. kuro looked up and looked around confused.

" what are you all staring at?" she asked not relizing she had just had a sasuke/tamaki/light moment.

"You where about to have a kira laugh." Hikari said blankly, and kuro's eyes widened.

"Did one of you smack me?" she asked/yelled and she sighed when kat nodded her head. "Good well lets get going."

***********Blah**********

**A/N: I just wanted you all to know that the person kat is based off of really does say potato over and over again... so yeah, POTATO!  
**


	6. The plan DUM DUM DUUUMMMM!

A/N: i do not own Naruto or Naruto characters i only own Kuro Kat Hikari and Chibi ********************************************************************************************************************************************************  
Chapter 6

"Soooooooo." kuro started.

"..." Itachi simply stared at her. the others had gone with kisame after itachi glared at them to make them leave. when kuro tried to go he grabbed the back of her shirt and stopped her.

"well not that this isnt an interesting conversstion and all but i think im going to go over there." kuro said and pointed to a tree at the oppsite side of the clearing. Itachi just glared at her and grabbed her shirt again.

"how much do you know?" he asked again.

"I told you i know what i know and that is enough." kuro said. suddenly she was flipped around and looking into Itachi's mangekyo.

"Oh shit." she said as he said 'Tsukiyomi'. kuro was tied to a pole and itachi stood infront of her.

"So now what you going to poke me with a sword? oh big deal thats not all that great-OWWW!" she yelled as he plunged the sword into her stomach.

"I always wondered what it felt like to get-ow-stabbed. now i-ow- know-ow-yet another thing-ow." she said as he stabbed her. Itachi started getting frustrated when she started to laugh at the pain. he backed away and tried showing her her worst fear instead.

"AHHHHHHHH!" kuro screamed as orochimaru chased her around while he drove a truck with pineappples painted on the side and she was wearing a sasuke costume.

"Come back here, sasuke-kun, eh." orochimaru said in a canadian accent. that made kuro scream louder.

"ALRIGHT I'LL TELL YOU JUST GET RID OF IT!" she screamed at the weasel man. Itachi releasede the genjutsu and kuro fell into the fedal position. she started to rock back and forth while mumbling about how 'her head was a chickens ass that orochimaru wanted to rape.' Itachi was standing with a sweat drop on his head.'

"Tell me now or he is coming back." Kuro's eyes widened and she looked at him.

"What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Does my plan for sasuke happen?"

"Sorta. he kills you you transplant your powers to him and you die with him thinking you were evil. but then madara shows up and tells him the truth about the massacre and sas-gay decided to destroy konoha." kuro explained.

"...Fix it." Itachi said.

"Wha? how am i supposed to do that? I just know what will happen not how to change it!" she yelled out

"Fix it."Itachi said as he activated his sharingan. kuro immediently closed her eyes and turned away.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! i'll try my best!" she said.

"try your best at what?" Hikari asked as she and the others walked in to the camp site.

"Nothing." Itachi said while glaring at Kuro as if to say ' tell them and your going back in the sasuke suit.' Kuro shivered as she understood the silent message.  
After they all ate the fish kisame had caught everyone went to sleep for the night.

***Konoha Gates The next morning*****  
Kotetsu and Izumo yawned in unision, It had been a boring day with no one new coming in to the leaf village. They had been staioned at the front gates since the early moring and so far nothing had happened.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" came a scream from outside the gate. Both ninja turned to see four girls standing there. one had upper-back length black hair and purple eyes that had a mysterious glint in them. she had a evil grin on her face and was chuckling lowly.

The one behind her sighed. she had shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes. she looked disturbed that she even knew the other girls. The girl in front had lower back length black hair and green-grey eyes that had an annoyed look to them. the last girl was rolling on the floor, laughing. she had waist length brown hair tied back in a ponytail with straight bangs. her brown eyes were closed as she tried to stop the laughing, and she was the shortest of the three.

"Why are we laughing? no one said any thing." the purple eyed one said.

" Kuro Kuro Kuro what are we going to do with you?" said the shortest one after she finished laughing. the annoyed one sighed.

"Lets just get this over with. I want to get back to Danna." Izumo looked at Kotetsu before jumping over the desk they had been sitting at.

"Wait!" Izumo yelled after the group of girls as they walked into the village. Kuro turned around and looked at him blankly.

"Yes?" she asked

"What is your buisness in the village?" Izumo asked.

"Well first we were planning on giving a gennin a hickey then killing the hokage then we were going to murder every one using a giant snake summon...or not. i could be completly lying." she said seriously, behind her kat and chibi were snickering while Hikari was trying to hold in her laughter. Izumo looked petrified as he stepped back.

"Just kidding! we are here for the chunnin exams." Kuro said when she noticed that Izumo had taken her seriously. She had a sweatdrop falling down the back of her head. He sighed in relifed after she said that.

"well then girls, good luck." He said wanting to get away from them, before asking their village.

"well that was easier then i thought." Kuro said, impressed by her skills to make people go away.

"Yeah Yeah, you make people leave, that is really something to be proud of." hikari said sarcasticly." mabye that is why you only have us as friends."

"And whats wrong with us? Cause i think we are awesome." Kat said back, crossing her arms.

"Alright, now then maggots Since we are in Konoha I shall be in charge." Kuro said stand in front of the other three girls.

"Now then there are only three people on a gennin team so i'm going to have Chibi as a spy on the outside when we are in the exam. You other two are going to be in the exam with me so just do as i say and beat the shit out of people at the right time and we will pass the exam. capish?" Since Kuro was the only one that accually watched Naruto she was going to have to fill in the other three. She was about to give them a breif reveiw of what happens when she stopped and looked around.

"Its not safe to talk her lets go get a hotel room and talk there." she said and turned around. the other three girls eyes were wide and they were frozen in shock. that had been the most serius Kuro had been in the past 5 years. to tell the truth everyone was a little scared of kuro now. the followed behind her by about ten feet huddled together.  
Once they got a room in a hotel they gathered around kuro and listened to what she had planned.

"alright, since Chibi already has her orders she is dismissed." chibi saluted kuro and walked away." you to are going with me into the exams. we have to go to room 301 and the first exam will be a writen test. you dont have to answer any questions untill the tenth question which is a stay or go question. if you go you automaticlly fail but if you stay you automaticlly pass. so stay. the second part we get to kill people for scrolls and then there are the prilimanarys were it is a one on one fight along with the third exam. i will give more info along the way. got it?" both girls nodded there heads. tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.

*************blah************

**A/N; yeah not much happened in this chapter but i needed to get some plot in the next one will have more humor in it. heck! the title is '' Looky! It's a duck-butt' so yeah...JA NE! Oh and yes my worst fear is to have that happen.  
**


	7. Looky! It's a duckbutt!

**Disclaimer: iay wnoay onay arutonay (i own no naruto) just my OC's and most of their words .**

They girls woke up early the next morning from the crash kuro had made when she fell off the bed.

"Owww." Kuro moaned as she sat up from the ground. she stood up and walked to the cabinet in the mini-kitchen that was in the hotel room. she pulled out four cup of noodles and poured the water into them before placing them in the microwave. She had been doing it so perfectly that her friends didn't notice she was still asleep.

"Kuro what are you doing?" Hikari asked.

"The rooster said to kill the potato..." kuro mumbled out. she was still standing in the kitchen facing a picture of the hokage mountain.

"Huh? what does a rooster have to do with ramen?" Kat asked. she got out of her bed and walked over to Kuro. when she realized she was still asleep she sweat dropped.

"what is it?" hikari said as she came over and looked at kuro. she anime fell.

"She is asleep, isn't she?" asked Chibi from her bed. both girls nodded and looked at each other. the both nodded and grinned as they silently made their plan to wake up their friend.

"KURO! OROCHIMARU IS HERE FOR YOUR BODY!" Kat yelled in to Kuro's ear.

"Come here Kuro-chan, eh." Hikari said doing an impression of a Canadian Orochimaru. Kuro's eyes instantly shot open and she screamed as she suddenly disappeared. All the girls eyes were wide when they saw her vanish. Everyone blinked and looked around for the girl, when they saw her head in the bathroom door.

"um, guys? what just happened?" she asked.

"I think... you just... warped into a different place?" Kat said unsure. Kuro's eye twitched

"No? really? i thought i was making a sandwich!" Kuro yelled at her. Kat frowned.

"Well your the one that asked what happened! and you were making ramen not a sandwich!" she yelled back. Kuro's eye twitched at the last part of her comment.

"HEY! look out there!" Chibi yelled from the window." It's a squirrel! i want to be a squirrel to " she thought out loud. suddenly a puff of smoke surrounded her and when it cleared there sat...NOTHING! (A/N: JK just had to say that ^^) there sat...A SQUIRREL!

"Um guys...why did you grow so big?" the squirrel asked. All three girls stared at the creature with wide eyes.

"Chibi...Your even more chibi-ish then before...what did you do to your hair? it was better the other way." Kuro said not even noticing she was a squirrel.

"OK so chibi can shape shift Kuro can warp to places so what can i do?" Hikari asked. Kat shrugged while Chibi poofed back into her human-ness.

"Mabye...telepathy?" Kuro suggested. They all starred at her for a minute."what?"

"You said a big word O.o" Kat said slowly as if unsure of how to explain it. Kuro sweat dropped. Hikari Focused on Kat's hood and forced it to pull to the floor.

"Yep. That is not very exciting." she said.

"Think of it this way you can still make people explode by increasing there blood pressure." Kuro said remembering that they could control elements. chibi's was water, hers was fire, Kat's was earth and Hikari's was blood. Was blood even an element? she didn't know and really didn't care. While they were walking to konoha with Itachi they learned that their powers did not work on each other but worked perfectly fine on other people. Also they could all fly using their powers. except hikari who had to share an earth platform with Kat.

"SHIT! we need to go! exam start soon! Sergent chibi you are dismissed. The rest of you maggots, follow me!" kuro saluted Chibi and ran out of the room to the academy. When Hikari and Kat caught up to her she had stopped twenty feet from the door because standing there waiting for his team was sasuke uchiha. The man that would murder deidara AND itachi. The bastard that made Kuro, the souless future murderer( as she is called at school) acually want to murder someone for a reason instead of randomly! Kat automatically grabbed onto kuro as she reached for the sword that hung at her waist. Hikari put her hand in front of Kuro's eyes so she wouldn't see him as they walked inside.

"Hm, losers." sasuke muttered as they walked past him. kat and hikari stopped in mid-step looked at each other then let go of the struggling girl. Kuro pulled out her sword the second they released her and watched as it transformed into a scythe.

"BASTARD!" she yelled at him as she ran straight...past him -_-' she started hacking at the tree beyond him until it was in little pieces and burned to a smoldering pile of ash. she put her scyth/sword away and stomped past the stunned uchiha and annoyed teens into the academy. Kuro continued stomping right past the room '3'01 were kotetsu and izumo were put.

"Hey! were are you going?" Izumo called out. she turned around and kneed him in the manly area before fliipping off a stunned kotetsu and stomped back down the hall. Kat and Hikari ran to catch up with her and in the process stepped on izumo who was on the ground in pain.

"kuro! wait up!" they yelled out. then they relized she was sitting on the floor outside the real 301 listening to her ipod which she had warped there.

"Where did you get that?" Hikari demanded, also being a music freak and not being able to live without her ipod. kuro looked down at the device.

"Oh. I warped it here. apparently i can warp objects from place to place. want yours? i got it for you." she said and held up a black ipod 'squee'd and grabbed the ipod from her friend. Kat just anime cried wishing she had an ipod. kuro stood, all signs off anger gone.

"well now that we are here let us go inside, maggots!" just then Anko walked by and patted Kuro on the shoulder.

"I like you, kid. your gonna go far." she said with a smile and walked off mumbling about dango.

"O...K then lets just go in. Kat said and pushed open the door. the only other team in here was the sand siblings. Hikari immediately glared at Gaara who glared back. She had always hated him since she learned he ripped off one of Deidara's arms. No matter how many times Kuro had told her that it wasn't his fault, she still hated him. Kankuro looked at her then at Kat then at Kuro before snorting and mumbling that 'he could easily beat a bunch of girls'. All three teens glared at him,

"you say somethin'?" they said in creepy unison. Temari had an anger vein and slammed her fan into his head.

"Ignore him he is an idiot. my name is temari. you are?"

"Kuro and also WHERE did you get that fan? It is awesome^^." afore mention girl said.

"Name is Kat. nice to meet you and do you know where to get a fan with a potato on it?" Kat asked hopefully.

"Hikari...yeah" Hikari said still glaring at Gaara. Temari laughed.

"No you cant get a fan like this unless you specially order it from this weapon shop in suna that had closed down about a year ago. sorry."

"Why are you glaring at me?" Gaara said. Hikari just 'hm'ed and looked away, now glaring at a chair.

"Don't mind her, she just hates you for no apparent reason." Kuro said smilling at the red head.

"Hm" He replied and walked away. Temari waved and followed her brother. By now the konoha gennin had already begun to talk to Kabuto.

30 feet away

"what can you tell me about rock lee, Gaara of the sand and Kuro?" Sasuke asked the glasses wearing gennin.

" you already know their names? well that's no fun. Ok, first is Rock Lee." Kabuto began, "He's a year older than you guys. Mission history, D Rank: 20 completed, C Rank: 12 completed. His sensei is Might Guy. His taijutsu has improved greatly in the last year, but the rest is nothing impressive Last year he gained attention as a talented new Genin, but he did not participate in the Chunin exams." Kabuto glanced at everyone, "and his first time. His team mates are Hyuuga Neji and Tenten."

"Next is Gaara of the Desert. Mission History, C Rank: 8, B Rank: 1. Wow, a B Rank at Genin that's impressive. Since he's a new comer from a different village I don't have much information on him, but it seems like he has returned from all of his missions without even a scratch on him. Amazing!"

"Now then Kuro i only have a limited amount of information on. she has no village and is of high level along with the other members of her team. she can control fire with her mind, and has an obsession with eating...FRIED HUMAN HANDS?." Basically every one in the room heard what he said.

"OH! i want some!" kuro yelled out waving her arm above her head."Iwant orochi-pedo's hands back! i never got to eat them! " Everyone in the room looked at her like she was insane- oh wait she is insane...oh well thats how they looked at her.

"Jeeze she is even weirder then Naruto" Sakura said to her team.

"You wanna fight, pinky?" Kuro said while glaring evilly at the girl. Sakura's eyes got wide and she shook her head as if her life depended on it. "Good cause you would loose. and Kabuto add on that i can warp places and things!" she said appearing right next to him making the gennin stiffen. she glared at sasuke and sakura then warped back to her team.

**A/N: yes i know that kuro is very weird but for some reason i want to know what orochimaru's hands would taste like fried and kuro is me soooo there ya have it**


	8. Writen exam! HEY! YOU! SIT CORRECTLY!

_**A/N: I do not own Naruto or death note but i wish i did...sasuke should die .**_

"Alright now that you are all seated, I am your first exam proctor, Ibiki Morino. This is the written portion of the exam. If you get caught

cheating 5 times you will fail! begin." Ibiki yelled out. Kuro was placed directly behind sasuke while Kat was placed in the back right corner and Hikari was next to Hinata. Kuro placed her feet up on the desk/table thing and held her pencil by the tip. she curled her knees up to her chest and starred wide-eyed down at the paper.

_'this is what was so hard to them?' _Kat and Hikari thought when they saw the simple math problems. Kuro frowned and starred at the first problem. _'7-4=?'_ she read in her mind. Instead of answering the problem she wrote down '_If you don't know then you are a naruto.' _she put simler commentes on each answer and smirked. A chunnin looked at her, and yelled.

"Hey! you, boy in the middle! put your feet down and sit correctly!" he said not relizing she was a girl. Not knowing he was talking to her, she ignored him. He threw at kunai at her next.

"I said put your feet down! Do you want to fail?" he yelled at her. she just blinked her still widen-eyes and looked at him.

"You said boy, but i am a female so please do not yell your voice is giving me a headache. do you have any cake?" she said in her L-voice. The proctors, along with most of the gennin's, eyes widened and looked at her. "what, no one has cake?" she asked when they starred at her.

"Everyone thought you were a guy...loser." Sasuke said from in front of her. She glared at him

"Yeah? well at least i wasn't named Sauce Gay. and also i will kill you eventually just so you are prepared. say hi to light when he gets there too." she said then put her Ipod in her ears. everyone just ignored her and went back to the test. Kat sighed at her friends stupidity. She knew that Kuro loved Naruto to much to mess up the plot completly. that is why she had pushed Hikari off the bird on there way to meet the weasel. She knew Kuro wouldn't actually KILL sasuke just maim him of serverly injure him but he would still be alive. Hikari on the other hand wasn't quiet convinced that Kuro was lying. she knew that her friend was DEADLY not just harmful. She was also not conviced kuro was sane either but then again no one is.

"Faces filled with joy and cheer! What a magical time of year! Howdy Ho! It's Weasel Stomping Day!" Kuro mumbled barley loud enough for sasuke to hear...which means everyone around her heard it. Sasuke's eyes widened a bit beacuse she mentioned a weasel. He was about to yell at her when Ibiki yelled.

"Girl! stop singing it is time for the tenth question. before i say the question anyone who does not want to answer can leave now. If you do leave then you automaticly fail."

"If we fail why would anyone quit?" Temari asked.

"Because if you take the question and fail it then you can NEVER become a chunnin." One after another, students gave up. then Naruto raised his hand and gave his speech that made people stay and hurray everyone passes! Then of course Anko burst through the window.

"Alright Maggots! I'm Anko mitarashi, the second exam proctor! tomorrow we meet at the forest of death! Be prepared!" she said and eveyone left. When the three girls were outside, they saw Chibi waiting for them.

"How did you know that we were done?" Hikari asked. The short girl shrugged.

"I was watching the whole time didn't you see the bird outside the window?" she asked.

"Well sorry for not noticing a bird that looks like the other 5 MILLION birds out there!" Hikari yelled back. The two started yelling at each other and the fight soon started escalading into a full out brawl. Kuro started cheering for Hikari while Kat was cheering for chibi. Tha made them glare at each other and then THEY started to fight. so there they were. four teenage girls using swords, sythes and malets...to wack there teammates. in front of the academy with 70 other teans watching them. everyone soon started cheering for someone to win. the girls were cheering for Kuro since they still thought she was a guy, while the guys were split between the four. After a while the fight was ended...because Hikari chopped off Kuro's head. Everyone around then gasped and looked at her.

"What? did i do something?" Hikari asked Kat.

"You just killed your teammate!" some random unimportant girl yelled out.

"No i didn't she is fine. look." She bent down and picked up kuro's severed head by her hair.

"Ow, ow, ow! that hurt like a mother! Hikari what the hell is wrong with you! i wasn't even fighting you! seriously what the crap?" Kuro's head yelled at her friend. everyone around them either fainted or wwas to shocked to do anything. Suddenly Sasuke walked up and grabbed Kuro's head from Hikari. he walked away and none of her friends followed. they just watched as she was carried away by her least favorite person.

"EWWWWW! I'm being touched by an emo duckbutt! NOOOOO! Next I'll be setting my self on fire!" Kuro said then got an idea. she lit her hair on fire and made sasuke drop her head on the ground. "SUCESS!" she yelled out. " Now what the hell do you want?"

Sasuke just glared at her before picking her head up and putting it on a bench they had stopped next to.

"Why did you sing that song?" he asked still glaring.

"Because that is what i was listening to. want to hear the rest of it? or would you prefer a different one? LOG LOG LOG LOG! IT'S BIG! IT'S HEAVY! IT'S WOOD! LOG LOG LOG LOG! IT'S BETTER THEN BAD IT'S GOOD- mmf!" she sang until sasuke covered her mouth. her head was suddenly picked up by her body which had been following behind...how it could move (unlike hidans) was beyond her. she placed her head back on her neck and sat down on the bench.

"So it that all?" she asked twirling a blade of grass between her fingers.

"Why do you want to kill me?" he asked glaring darker then before. kuro sighed.

"Because you are an emo duckbutt and also if you die then someone else gets to live so you should just fall over and rot." she said emotionlessly before standing up and raising a hand to wave as she walked away." sayonara, usuratonkachi."

"That girl...is ineresting." Sasuke said, before smirking.

_**A/N: Kuro can do a PERFECT impression of any anime character! so when she uses her L-voice it sounds just like L, just to let you know!**_


	9. The forest OF PRETTYNESS!

_**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own any Naruto besides my Sasori plushie my jashin necklace and my naruto calender! In the story i only own Kuro Kat Hikari and Chibi! I own no naruto abridged or soul eater either! **_

"Alright! everyone, this is the forest of death! the toughest training ground in konoha! If you get both of these scrolls then make it to the tower in five days you go to the next round!" Anko explained, as everyone gets their scroll. Team insane, as Kuro dubbed them, got a earth scroll and ironicly gave it to Kat, who could control earth. Hikari was glaring at Gaara who was glaring back. Kuro was glaring at sasuke who was glaring back also. Kat was glaring...at the rock on the ground who was not glaring back because it doesnt have eyes. -_-'

"Guys i think that we should go now." Kat told The glaring girls,who had been glaring at the gate that their enemy wh=ent through...TEN MINUTES AGO!

"Huh?" Kuro asked, snapping out of her trance. _'she was probably thinking of ways to kill sasuke._' Kat thought. _'I am really special cause there's only one of me! look at my smile im so damn happy other people are jelous of me_!' Is what she REALLY was thinking.

"Well lets get moving, retards!" Hikari yelled

************************ after around 1 hour***************************

**"Do you like waffles?" **Kuro started singing

**"Yeah! we like waffles!" **Kat and Hikari chorused in creepy unison.

**"Do you like pancakes?"**

**"Yeah we like pancakes!"**

**"Do you like french toast?"**

**"Yeah we like french toast!"**

**"DO DO TO DO CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!" **They yelled out together, and extremely off pitched.

"**WAFFLES**!" Hikari yelled, finishing the song. The three laughed as they walked through the forest. they had not yet run into any other teams and decided to make as much noise as posible to lure them in. Kuro suggest that she just warp a scroll to them but Kat yelled 'NO' and hikari smacked her over the head. both knew she would screw up somehow.

"What other songs are there?" Kat asked when she stopped her laughing.

"Well we could sing the funny farm song, ultimate showdown, emo kid, or-" kuro was cut off as three ninja suddenly appeared infront of them

"Or you could die! Hehehe" said the one in the middle. kuro gasped and covered her mouth.

"Oh my jashin! Its the map quest ninjas!" she yelled out. Hikari looked at her confused when Kat sighed.

"Kuro you REALLY need to stop watching Naruto Abridged..." she said disaponted in her friendship making skittles or skills as most people call them.

"Whyyyyy? its sooooo funnnnnyyyyyyy hehehe m-" she started on her favorite line.

"dont say it" Kat warned.

"...moo."

"THAT'S IT!" Kat yelled as she pulled an axe out of the E.P.O.D. and sliced Kuro's head off. The map quest ninjas all widened there eyes (or at least the ones we could see) and stepped back. Kuro's head groaned.

"REALLY! why do people keep cutting off my head? and really why is it my fucking friends that are fucking doing it? At least i could kill an enemy for fucking cutting it off but you two?" Kuro complained. Kat and Hikari sweatdropped and put kuro's head back on.

"Hey kuro if i kill them how badly would it effect the plot?" Hikari asked. Kuro twitched.

"What do you care? you already killed orochimaru, who was the main antogonist!" Kuro yelled whacking Hikari over the head.

_'Accually he is alive, retard.' _A voice in Kuro's mind said. Said girl looked around her.

"HURRAY! im hearing voices! Im schizophrenic!" She yelled out making everyone look at her weird. for some unknown reason the mapquest ninja had not left.

_'No, you fool, I am Jashin. I can talk to you in your mind. now, you can't kill one of the main characters or ones that affect the plot.' _the proclaimed god said. Kuro 'ohh'ed and told Kat to steal the scroll of the 'map questians' as she called them.

'_ What do you mean that we can't kill the main characters? DOES THAT MEAN I CAN'T KILL SAS-GAY?'_ she yelled in her mind. on the outside she was making a look of horror and her friends were getting worried.

'Yes and shut up cause your fucking voice is giving me a headache.' Jashin deadpaned. ' Also your the only one of your friends that have immortallity, so i would be happy you are a Jashinist cause you all have a looooooonnnng road ahead.'

"Kuro what are you doing?" Kat asked, snapping her back to reality.

"Oh i was talking to Jashin. He says you all can die and we can't kill any main characters. which means that oro is still alive and giving hickeys to underaged males." Kuro explained. Kat got stars in her eyes.

"I WANT TO TALK TO JASHIN!" she screamed

"Well you can't he is in my mind not yours, so ha." kuro replied like a 3 year old. Kat glared at her then got an evil smirk.

"Oh cant i?" she said and to Hikari's and Kuro's amazement she grabbed kuro's ear and some how shoved her body inside.

"Kuro! your head has a floating red orb- AND IS THAT CHAD'S CORPSE?" they could hear her yell from inside kuro's smirked at the memory of killing off the annoying boy a few months back. the cops were still looking for him. hehehe ^^

"Get out of my/her head!" Both girls yelled at Kat.

"NO! It's awesome in here!" Kuro could here Kat talking to Jashin about something then shoved her hand in her ear and pulled Kat out, the only problem was Kat was now 3 inches tall.

"Kat...why are you so small? are you trying to replace Chibi in the C.H.K.K. as the short one?"

"C.H.K.K?" hikari asked confused.

"Chibi Hikari Kat Kuro duh" Kuro answered. She then grabbed Kat and pulled as hard as she could. After ten minutes she was back to her normal size and they were on their way to the tower. Kat had stolen the scroll from the map quest ninja when Kuro was talking Jashin, so they now had both scrolls and it wasn't even the end of the first day!

"Hey guys...there coming to take me away haha!" kuro started singing

"There coming to take me away hoho!" Hikari continued.

"hehe haha to the funny farm!" kat sang

"where life is beutiful all the time and ill be happy to see those nice young men in there clean white coats and there coming to take me away! hahahaha!" they all sang together. Even when they were in a life threatening forest, team insane still found time to sing weird songs!

******************Half way to the tower/ around 2 hours later(they got lost^^')********************

The girls had heard a scream and Kuro had started to freak out. aperently it was a 'gay sauce scream of pain' or 'music of the finest' so they had to go find who () made the 'wonderful sound'. Once they came to a cave, Kuro made kat through a kunai at the front, trigering sakura's trap. kuro casually walked in.

"How's it going, Pinky?" She said indifferently to the shocked girl in the cave.

"W-why are you here?" Afore mentioned pinkette stuttered.

"Oh, careful you'll start to sound like hinata.

***************elsewhere*************

"A-a-achoo!" Hinata sneezed. kiba looked her way.

"You OK hinata? your not sick are you?" he asked. She timidly shook her head.

"N-no it must m-mean someo-one is talking a-about m-m-me..." she said. Kiba smirked.

"I bet it is Naruto" He said the chuckled. Hinata turned red the fainted, making her fall out of the tree she was running on. luckly Shino caught her.

************back with the retards*************

"OK we are here because we heard a lovly sound,and had to come see what it was. we arent going to stay to long but here is a pointer. look out for centipedes and never affor Rock Lee any maple syurp or a Hocky stick OR national health care. any of these will make him crazy. Well gotta go!" Kuro said the nn quickly kicked Sasuke, getting a nice scream from him (she kicked his neck), then left.

"Did you have to kick him?" Hikari asked. out of the three she liked sasuke the most,well i guess it would be more like hated him the least not liked. no one lkes him that much.

"Yes...yes I did. I needed one more scream to get me through the day." Kuro said smirking. Kat glanced at her.

"You didn't take your pills did you?" she asked.

"Nope! How could I? They are at home!" Kuro said. Yes she takes pills. surprisingly they are anti-depresants and pills to keep her sane (which arent working!). Hikari's eye twitched and she got an anime vein.

"Just WARP them here, you retard!" She yelled.

"Shut up, you fuzzbag!" she said. Yes she stole a line from Sasuke but that was Abridged Sasuke, he is decent and hates Sakura.

"CAN WE JUST GET TO THE TOWER PLEASE?" Hikari yelled. she was getting tired of arguing with the two of them and also she was pretty sure there was a bug in her jacket (She is wearing a long black trench coat, grey skinny jeans, and black Teeshirt.)

"Yeah yeah...EXCELCIOR!" Kuro yelled out as she pranced ahead of the other two.

"Fool." Kat muttered, not relizing she what she was about to start. Kuro turned around and drew her sword, which transformed into a cane.

"NOW! It is 5 hour story telling time! When i was young I met a penguin! It was a cold tuesday- no monday- then again it might have been thursday..no it was most definetly-"

"SHUT UP!" Hikari yelled at Kuro who was leaping in between trees. Kuro pointed her cane/sword at her.

"FOOL!" She yelled the leaped away through the trees still telling her story about a penguin which was now about a car dealership. Of course Kat and Ihkari were blocking her out by sharing Hikari's Ipod. By the time they got to the tower Kuro had gotten sick of five hour story telling time and settled to acting like L instead. So as she ran through the tree's she was hunched over and chewing onher thumb, but she also did this often so it was no big deal. Hikari had made Kat give her chocolate from the E.P.O.D. and was happily munching on that, while Kat was cuddleing a Tobi plushie to try to get over the emotinal torture Hikari put her through for the chocolate.

"Now what do we *munch* do?" Hikari asked. Kuro pulled out the scrolls and placed them on the ground, opening them up. A cloud of smoke appeared and out poped...GUY!

"Hoho! Look at your youthfulness! You three are most youthful for getting through this exam!" He exclaimed doing the good guy pose. All three girls were covering their eyes and were trying to ignore him the best they could. No offence to him but he is insane!

"Oh Good Jashin! Make it stop!" Kuro yelled. she could hear Jashin chuckleing in her head as she suffered.

_'no. i'm enjoying your pain...OK he is getting creepy just walk away!' _Jashin ordered in her mind. She quickly grabbed Hikari and Kat's arms and dragged them away from the sensei. They walked straight out of the room to find a hall way with a bunch of rooms withthe teams names on it.

"So that is why we had to name our team!" Kat yelled out. They found their room at the end of the hall.

" why did you think we had to?" Hikari asked watching Kuro run around the room.

"I thought it was so they could give us a gift for winning!" Kat said disappointedly. Kuro looked at her weird while Hikari shook her head at the stupidness in that answer. _'Really? this is the chunnin exam. the gift is becoming a chunnin_.' Hikari thought.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep so don't bug me!" She said and walked away from the other two more insane girls, still munching on chocolate.

_**A/N: Hikari has a MAJOR chocolate addiction! we had to do a science fair project and she did her's on chocolate! I do hunch over and have the habit to chew my finger nails so that is why my nickname is L and i am also Light strangly enough. Kat loves Tobi! that is why she is nicknamed Tobi also because she calls me sempai. and we all hate Guy and Brocili- err Rock lee. . . . So yeah Kuro had an excalibur moment from soul eater. yeaaaahhhh FOOL! **_


End file.
